This is just the 3rd task of the other troll writing. We had to try and make it have verbs, adjectives, and adverbs. This is descriptive writing and a narrative, also we had to try and put people speaking. We do this type of writing once a week and then it changes. this is writing two, the first one was the dragon. I hope you enjoy it.
Story starter!
Thump! He slammed his enormous, grass-covered foot into the middle of the road, sending shockwaves of dust in all directions.
With a loud grunt, the troll wrenched the entire, fully tiled roof off a nearby holiday home, with the owners peering helplessly and frightened out of the downstairs windows. He didn’t mean any harm, but he just couldn’t help himself…This is my writing. --> The troll was green, enormous and had a round head, with multiple trees on his back. Birds had settled his head quickly to not get hit by one of the trees. The troll had skinny legs and he had huge feet. He had a hunch back. His nose was long and floppy. The roots had got too long and had got out of his head, and that made a beard. A rope had been tied around his waist for capturing him and know why he was there. The citizens of the town had left the area quickly, some had came back for the little children, the town was being fled, and everyone screaming and running for their lives. The troll was causing madness. There was a loud grunt and then after that, the troll said loudly “ I mean harm, no.” this meant that he was kind. A frighted 40-year-old said quietly, “ What do you mean?” the troll had no reply and he had saw something in the distance and he stared then immediately fled to the mountains where he was first coming from. Everyone was cheering. It was like the troll was thinking about getting home and was trying to find his family.
The bald part is where the troll is talking, the troll also has bad grammar.
Do you have anything that I could do to improve this?
Kia ora Theo,
ReplyDeleteYou have done such a fantastic job continuing on with this story starter. Writing a story full of verbs, adjectives and adverbs is so important because it is the details in a story which captures an audience.
Think about these two sentences; ‘I sat down outside and ate my lunch’ and ‘I sat down on the luscious, green grass outside and ate my peanut butter sandwich for lunch'.
The first sentence sounds a little boring, but with a few extra words added in it was easily transformed into a way more exciting and enticing sentence.
I really like the way you used so much detail in each and every sentence you wrote. My personal favourite line was the very first one you wrote; ‘The troll was green, enormous and had a round head with multiple trees on his back.’
As I was reading this sentence I could visualise the troll in my mind and see exactly what he looks like! Well done on writing such a fantastic sentence!
Perhaps you could draw an image of the troll and include it in this blogpost. It would be awesome to see how you imagine the troll in your mind!
Keep up the great work!
Nga mihi